Another rendesvouz

今日は、

Hello dear readers, it has literally been ages since I wrote something for you.
I am very sorry that you have had to go for so long without any news from me, but I have been busy with a whole lot of things that has taken my mind off of writing on the blog. For instance, I have been moving with my girlfriend, my Macbook charger broke, and a lot of other things have happened. The past months have been hard, I have had a lot of mood changes recently, but it seems to be bettering. My hormones are working like clockwork and my breasts have really gotten definition. In a few weeks, I have been on hormones for a year, and I will post something about it then.

My girlfriend and I are having great time together, with a lot of adventures :)

In other news; Denmark has finally renewed the laws concerning legal genderchange, and are now leading in the world. This means that by the 1st of September, I will officially be a woman on paper <3

I have also recieved recognition to get an "X" in my Passport, until I have my legal genderchange.

I hope you are all well, I will try to remember posting some more...

xoxo Kira

Happy Easter!

Waking up with your girlfriend is the best feeling in the world.
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She's so adorable when she's sleeping :3

Happy Easter everyone,
I hope you have a nice time!

Rendezvous

Kyo wa,

It has been a really long time since I wrote anything on my blog, and for those of you who anticipate new posts from me, I would like to apologize. I have been really busy dealing with life and simply havent had the time to write anything on here.

Where should I begin? I broke up with my boyfriend a while back because the distance was too much for me. Since then I have gotten involved with the couple I wrote about last, and we sort of became a triangle relationship. Eventually, that didnt work out as I had hoped it would, and I split with one of the girls. The tilt-shift of our relationship was heartbreaking, but it gets better. My girlfriend moved in with me, and we brought her cats with us. Although the state of our polyamourous relationship is worrying to me, I feel safe with my girlfriend.

since she moved in, I have felt things I never felt before. A sense of security and calm, and I have lost my fear of growing up and aging. I feel, that with her by my side, I can endure anything. I love her.

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In other news, I had my first appointment at the infamous sex clinic in Denmark. All I can say is, that in my experience, the rumors are not true, I had a very pleasent experience there and the specialist I talked to did not make me feel uneasy or appear to look at me as a sick person. We had a nice conversation about my life and how my experience of growing up has been. I have been written up for the evaluating procedure to first of all have my passport changed so the gender states "X" which means unspecified. But ultimately, I hope to be recognized for bottom surgery <3

thats all I have for now. Take care.

xoxo
Kira

T-group meeting #1

Hello lovelies,

today I will tell you about my first visit at the Copenhagen transgender support group (yes, I am well aware that I have been putting this off for far too long). I can be a little reluctant to go new places - especially if I have to go there whithout anyone I know. In spite of my actually pretty decent social skills, you might want to call it social anxiety - I don't. I went together with my really good friends, a lesbian couple - where one of them is also MtF trans like I am. we decided to meet up earlier on the afternoon to shop for underwear and our little shopping trip turned into a full blown bank account massacre / Lingerie frenzy - I bought quite a few lovely pieces myself. I know for certain that I had a blast, since it is always interesting to peek at your friends dressing and undressing in clothes stores. There's nothing wrong with feeling a little creepy when you do it with the "victims" girlfriend<3
I think I want to use this opertunity to do a little advertisement aswell; NewYorker is an amazing place to shop for underwear, its relatively cheap, much like H&M, but the quality and fitting is far superior to their things. They also have some pieces that will make boys swoon and girls drool. Or was it the other way around? Nah, nobody cares about gender roles anyhow, because everybody loves unicorns and rainbow sprinkled ice cream.
               I think we might have shopped around in NewYorker for a couple of hours, just looking through underwear. At the time the store was closing, we all bought the pieces we liked and made for the LGBT library( this is where the support group meetings are held). I was very excited to go - since I had finally gotten myself together for it. Very excited to meet other trans* people and to finally meet Malene Andreasen, who is in fact both the founder and host of the T-group meetings. She is a lovely lady with a very special character and an optimistic glow, much to be admired. Upon entering the cozy lounge of the library, I realized we had a visitor; A journalist student on her last year who had come to learn about the transpolitic issues in the danish society. More specifically transgender issues revolving children and youth. We kept the talk going for several hours, touching everything from university traditions, to traditional and unconventional relationship structures, gender roles, sexuality vs genderidentity. Bigotry within the LGBT community and so on.
                 It was definately a cool experience and I can feel that having participated has given me a rise in both optimism and confidence <3 I am already looking forward to participating again.

xoxo Kira

Something about crossroads and facing reality.

Ohayo gozaimasu!

I have, as you may have noted, been having a f*ckton of moodswings recently. Somewhat due to an instability in my HRT dose, and somewhat due to some severe selfrealization. A part of that selfrealization has made me stronger - but another part has brought me down. Realizing that you need to give up on a lifelong dream (or at least postpone it indefinately) is never a fun thing to do. But it has to happen. We can not just go around and pretend that we will ever be able to fulfill the impossible, and so, I have given up on trying to make myself a studio. There is simply no way that I will be able to afford expanding it to the point where I can use it, and to be perfectly honest, I am not sure I have what it takes to handle the equipment in a way that will ever end up being the music I dreamt of making. Besides that, trying to throw all your money into an abyss like this dream has been to me - all the while attempting to save up for surgeries and treatments that will complete me is not only impossible, but it also seems greedy to try and grasp a hold on all of the things that I dream about. I am a dreamer by heart, and it has simultaneously been a blessing and a curse throughout my life. Always having the idea of the abstract, - always have inspiration, but never the sense of reality to bring any of it into this world. That is why, ladies and gentlemen, I am turning the key to my musicstudio.
                     There's also a bright side to dying dreams though. They make you realize where reality is, and although that experience might be harsh, it will be healthier in the long run. Also, letting go of something in your hand will allow you to hold on tighter to whatever you carry in the other. I will focus more on my writing, and use whatever money I earn from selling my old gear to stabilize my economy. I will definately try to get out more once I get back on top of my life, since there are so many of my wonderful friends that I haven't seen for a long time. Friends that mean a lot to me, and have stayed with me  since back in highschool, and continue to support me through my transition. They are amazing people that I love for who they are; True friends. I could never ask them for anything, let alone to offer me their friendship through neglect and depression.
                     I think, that I am in my right to be true to myself. To embrace the style I feel like presenting. To give myself to my life. fully, and unconditionally, and to finally steer through the path to self-acceptance as my transition continues and I continue to evolve into the person I can be proud of calling 'me'.

xoxo,
Kira

When you get that feeling

Greetings my loveable readers,

See if you can relate to this; When you get that feeling that what you have is so special. What you have is of such rare chances, that it immidiately becomes sacred.
I felt like that yesterday, having a dinnerdate with my good friend and her girlfriend, We had such chemistry between the three of us, and I really enjoyed the evening. I cooked yasai tempura and sunomono, and it was all very lovely. But the magic happened in the conversation, I only just met my friends girlfriend, and have only met my friend once before (aside from online conversations). Even though this should make them strangers to me, I felt like I have known them for so very long, and they in turn, seemed to feel the same way about eachother. I am thankful to have made such great friends and I find joy in knowing, that I will see them both again <3

xoxo Kira

Brighter lights

Hello my lovely readers,

Things are finally beginning to look ahead in life. I am back on my regular dosage of hormones and my mood is stabile again. I had an apointment with the dentist today. Besides from stripping me of all my money, I did have a good experience going there. My dentist has not seen me for about two years, since she had to take a leave due to childbirth. In the meantime, I come out, start HRT and get a name change. Seeing her again, she greeted me like any other patient. by right name and everything. At some point during the check, she asked me about medication, and I told her what I am on. She then proceeded to ask why I was so heavily medicated. Perplexed because I though she knew, I said "well, they're hormones". and she asked me if it was for trying to get pregnant or something. I couldnt help but smile as I told her I take them as part of my sexchange procedure. She was genuinely surprised - had no idea about me being transgender. Even though she's been my dentist for six years. We started talking about all the transition stuff and everything, and she was very kind

love,
Kira