Hindsight is pointless

Hello my lovely readers.

Today, I am going to ramble to you about the usefulness (or the lack of it) of hindsight. I think everyone experiences these moments where thoughts drift and they go back in time, now richer with the answers to past mistakes, they see clearly what could have been done in prevention of things that ultimately causes them to regret their actions and might even have left a splinter of grief in their souls. A splinter that keeps the wound from fully healing and causes irritation and pain whenever it is disturbed.

How often haven't you heard someone utter: "If only I had [Prevention/Evasion plan], then all of this would not have happened." and how often haven't you actually felt that way yourself?

Well, the first point of the day is time travel. Anyone familiar with the theory behind time travel knows that if you go back in time and alter something, events will progress differently to how they "originally" did and cause a tangent on the space and time continuum, drifting further away from the "original" future and thus causing an alternative reality to occur. There are a few paradoxes about this. If we first assume that the "original" (hereby refered to as reality A) dissapears, and only the events of reality B will be "real". This is an impossible paradox, since the version of yourself from reality A was the one who changed the past. So without reality A, reality B could not exist. The next issue in this theory is that if we believe the idea of alternate reality tangents to be real. There must therefore be an infinite number of possible realities. This is unfathomable and will lead to the demise of all sanity, thus proving H.P. Lovecraft right. Nobody wants this to happen as the fates of Cthulhu's victims are dire.

I too, often have these moments. For me, the biggest regret has been hiding myself from the world.
So often, I think that I would have been better off if only I had told my parents how I truly felt. If only I had known how they would react. I would have been through my transition, and all the horrors and battles I now face because of male puberty would have been prevented. I would have been free from anxiety, and I might even have gotten an education already.
I wish I had saved up money and acted like a responsible adult earlier, so I could afford transition.
Then I might have had SRS, FFS, and breast augmentation already.

To get back to the point; time travel is paradoxal. There's no point in trying to accomplish it, as it will, surely, end in the awakening of Azatoth, who will destroy the universe. Also, If you keep walking through life looking back, you will surely stumble and get hurt. Try and savor the moment. Accept what has come to be and use your past as a leyline to guide you through life. There's no way we could have predicted another outcome that the one we experienced. As life might be a series of rooms with a blue and a red door. Sometimes there's a third door - or no door, just a dark pit. Sometimes, it could even be an elevator. I try to look at the bright side, revelling in the small victories and happy memories. So many memories that would not have been, if the past was altered. Free yourself from grief and embrace your right to love.

Hugs,
Kira <3